Unlike any other time in history, we live very comfortable lives. We are quite removed from the dangers of yesteryears. Technology and social systems have us cocooned in very ‘soft’ surroundings, where it can be quite difficult to even consciously link negative causes and effects. Although this is something to be grateful for, unfortunately it does come with certain major drawback.

Since our patterns of behavior and thinking don’t often create immediate crises as an effect, it’s easy to think, ‘it’s really not that bad’. In the past for example, virtue development was understood to be of importance, because without them, you’d be on the streets, freezing and starving. The classical virtues like moderation, courage, wisdom and justice held a personal and measurable meaning. They weren’t abstract ideas merely to pass a philosophy class.

In fact when you read the biographies of great men and women, you so often hear the common story of how hitting rock bottom, helped them make their biggest realizations. Directly coming in touch with Buddha’s noble truths, that ‘life is suffering’ and that the way out of suffering is to live the virtuous life, this brought about a sense of urgency, passion and commitment for change. Now!

From these painful experiences, they were able to reach a point where they said, ‘I’ve had it! I must change, now! I will do whatever it takes!’

Today, with so many socio-economic ‘safety nets’, entertainment channels and technologies for lessening pain across all dimensions, and the conflicting opinions that often validate both points of view - it is difficult to get oneself to feel ‘rock bottom’. Yet without it, there is no platform from which to ‘bounce’ higher.

For many, it’s difficult to even assess what actions take them higher or lower. In certain circles, for various reasons, it’s even politically incorrect to even mention what’s right and wrong. Even feeling guilty that one that one is not meeting their own standards of conscience, for some is considered a psychological defect.

Thus, one of the major forces that propelled the passion for change, - i.e. the suffering of keeping up the same patterns of thought and behavior – today they can be upheld by social crutches, by stories of victimization, or drowned out with entertainment, meaningless information and even drugged out, legally.

"Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof."
John Kenneth Galbraith

With nearly a century of aggressive corporate marketing, we have adopted a highly consumerist mindset. We have subconsciously subverted our thinking to believe that things should be easy, that pleasure is our inherent right, and that we can just buy our way out of problems.

One factor to our present financial crisis comes from this. Easy financing options for example, allows one to even live in relative luxury, while having little money and doing few of the right things for accumulating wealth. Thus too often the implicit message we’re sending ourselves is it that we are already rich and must be doing things right. So what’s the problem? Why try harder? Just enjoy.

Regrettably many float in this ‘lukewarm’ complacency, where things aren’t great, but not bad enough to do anything seriously about it. If they do attempt a change, they’re half-hearted about it, lacking passion.

The process of transformation and improvement requires added energy, as to go beyond the status quo. Without first establishing a solid commitment to change, a fundamental dissatisfaction with what is, a burning urgency to do something about it right now - changes often go nowhere.

The good news is that we don’t really need for the environment to force us to change through pain. Since it’s perception and not the event of itself that motivates, we can recreate this urgency internally. But we need to be proactive about it...

Remember the words of Saint Augustine, - a man who lived the process of change at its most extreme: "If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing."

While their efforts are certainly above average, just listen to any award acceptance speech or commentaries about their performance, and you invariably hear their profound gratitude for their coaches, support team and life-partners. “I could not have done it without you”, is something that all great people know.

The secret to any great achievement is in cooperative effort, in having a ‘mastermind’, in ‘bringing together in a spirit of perfect harmony, two or more minds’ as Napoleon Hill put it.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Again, there are many sources around us that teach otherwise and we need to be discerning.

One major factor comes from the marketing of the ‘DIY’ philosophy. Corporations have long figured out that the fastest way to sell more consumer goods, is to sell people on the idea that you can do it all by yourself, with just the right products at your disposal. The logic is simple – it sells more ‘stuff’.

As such, we can just observe how far we have come over the few decades in this direction. Many homes today have their own make-shift gymnasium, café, office, home theater… all the way to services like ‘do it yourself’ education, counseling, and even religious worship.

While we can argue that by sacrificing quality, these products and services have been able to offer greater convenience, unfortunately it’s bringing about an increasing depreciation of the value of social support itself. As wisdom would dictate, you can’t do it all by yourself, if you seek excellence.

‘Don’t Isolate Yourself’

If you have the motivation to change, are not complacent about it, but still lacks results, it’s usually because of lack of social support. Who is in your social network, will make or break you.

You can already notice the power of the mastermind when it comes to negative habits. If you’ve had the experience of trying to change some pattern like drinking, while all your friends drink, you can appreciate how difficult this can be. As Al Pacino’s character in the movie Carlito’s Way expressed, ‘Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!’

The principle of peer pressure is very powerful. We’re all under its influence. It’s not just for teenagers. It’s part of the human experience across all ages, for we are fundamentally social beings.

The good news is that you can also make it work for you. It’s just as difficult to keep up unhealthy habits when your peers are health centered. It’s difficult to accept mediocrity when your peers are focused on excellence.

They’ll challenge you. They’ll support you. They’ll inspire and lighten your load, and you’ll have a lot more fun in the process.

People seldom improve when they have no other model
but themselves to copy after.
Oliver Goldsmith

As history shows, meaningful and lasting change is almost always created within networks of like-minded individuals. “No man is an island entire of itself”, as the poet once wrote, “each one of us is a piece of the continent, a part of the main”.

Real change is always possible within a mastermind – no matter how many times you may have tried and failed before. There is no substitute.

Without a mastermind you’re like sitting on a chair with a missing leg. Sure, with enough attention you’ll be able to manage the balance and you may feel good about your efforts for a while. But once your attention drops (as it invariably happens with all of us), you’re due for a fall you’ll never see coming.

As social beings we learn to value different things from others. They offer us that back up support when our conscious efforts are waning. They amplify and strengthen our good resolutions. They inspire us to be at our best and to go that little bit further.

The lone hero in actuality is a myth. Even someone like Jesus had a mastermind of twelve.

Again, we have to be mindful that we live in a time unlike any other in history. We are presented with an innumerable number of choices of what we can make of our lives, and it can be highly confusing to decide which path to choose. It’s very challenging to keep your eye on the prize and not get distracted. What this feels like is well expressed by a popular TV character in a monologue:

“Since birth, modern women have been told we can do and be anything we want. Be an astronaut, the head of an Internet company, a stay-at-home mom. There aren't any rules anymore, and the choices are endless. And apparently they can all be delivered right to your door. But is it possible that we've gotten so spoiled by choices that we've become unable to make one?"

The complexity of choosing a definitive purpose in life, leads then many to have no vision at all. In fact, I’ve had clients that are actually against having a definitive purpose. Since there are so many options, they have concluded it’s better to just to let fate decide and thus not feel limited by their choice.

This is quite understandable, considering our environment. Psychology professor Barry Schwartz has done numerous studies on what are the effects of having so many choices available to us, and observed that the more choices we have, surprisingly, the more depressed we become.

Again, although we can appreciate the wide variety of choices we have in today’s world, it also has a dark side. Dr Schwarz observes that the condition of increasing life choices actually produces paralysis rather than liberation.

This may seem counterintuitive, but with increasing options, people find it more and more difficult to make a choice. As his experiments show, more choices lead to more ‘no decisions’ - even when making no decision is the worst option of all.

It also leads to depression because even if one makes a choice, and it is a good choice, people are less satisfied with their decision than they would be if they had fewer options. More options increase expectations, so it’s that much more difficult to be satisfied. For example, if one makes a choice from amidst 100 options, it’s difficult to believe that this single one, was the perfect one.

This may help explain why we all often dread making the tough choice of picking a definitive purpose for our lives. With the innumerable avenues available for us to travel on, what if we don’t choose right? What if we miss out on something else?

This is a common dilemma for many. But to go beyond it we must. As research shows time and time again, high achievement, personal growth and fulfillment invariably comes with having a definitiveness of purpose - with faithfully acting upon a clear and present vision.

Choosing not to choose and to drift along with what life offers is actually the worst strategy of all. You’re much better off to decide on something, anything, – than to abdicate your free will. The bible for example is quite blunt on this issue and simply states, ‘where there is no vision, the people perish’.

Things alter for the worse spontaneously,
if they be not altered for the better designedly.
Francis Bacon

When you get a clear and definitive picture of the future you desire, - one that connects deeply with meaning and why you should do your utmost to attain it – you have a lasting-well of motivation, a simplified mechanism for all future decisions and a means for effectively organizing your personal resources.

We all have this inner blueprint. The challenge is to find it. Once you connect with it, you will observe that it makes perfect sense, it fulfills the inner yearning of your heart and you’ll know with confidence, it is the expression of who you authentically are.

The human experience is common. The world is not divided into those who are gifted with a vision and those who aren’t. It is divided into those who seek it and those who don’t. The real question is, do you really want to know it?

For our authentic vision is usually covered by many layers of ‘earth’. It takes time to dig it out, to identify it, to polish its ‘illuminative qualities’. For many, it can take a couple of months of intentional effort, and in some cases even years. For some it can be realized in a moment.

Time is relative here. If one truly wants to know, time becomes secondary to the purpose.

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